With Arms Wide Open
Title: With Arms Wide Open
Genre: Romance, angst,Mpreg
Disclaimer: I don’t own the boys only the plot is mine.
Warning: unbeta-ed, a lot of grammar mistakes.
Summary: I’ll leave now because, I’m afraid you’ll force me to get rid of it.
Junsu was sitting in the garden, heart beating fast; too fast that he thinks it’ll burst anytime. He feels anxious and terrified… and guilty.
The people around him don’t exist anymore, the voices sounds far and unintelligible. He’s not even sure if they are real, because fragments of the past are rushing into his mind giving him a severe headache.
“No Yoochun, we’re not having a baby” Junsu’s voice was dry and cold.
“but why ?” even if it’s the hundredth time they are having this conversation Yoochun still can’t understand the reason why Junsu refuses to have a child.
“Aren’t we in love? Aren’t YOU in love with me?” Yoochun in such desperation that he was clutching into Junsu’s shirt.
Before those were rhetorical questions for the couple, no one can doubt the love between Junsu and Yoochun ever since they were in college. But Yoochun isn’t sure anymore, is there still love between the two of them?
“Don’t be stupid Yoochun, you know I love you more than anything in this whole world and that I’m willing to do anything for you, anything…” the hands that were cupping Yoochun’s face left him suddenly, and Yoochun felt cold and abandoned.
“..Except that” Junsu wasn’t sure if that part was audible, he hoped it wasn’t because he himself felt nauseous while muttering them. He can only imagine Yoochun’s feeling.
“What if it’s the only thing I want from you, I don’t want anything but a baby” Yoochun knew he was pressuring Junsu, but he doesn’t care anymore. He’s willing to be selfish because he wants a baby; he wants to symbolize their love, their eight years of struggle, tears, fights and mostly love.
“I already told…” Junsu was cut off by the change of expression in Yoochun’s face. Somehow seeing the lone tears sliding across his loves right cheek wasn’t a good sign.
“You refusing to have a baby with only means you don’t love me and I won’t stay with someone who doesn’t love. Are willing to give us a baby Junsu?” Yoochun feels like his heart will stop anytime because the answer to his question means a happily ever after or miserably ever after.
“No” Yoochun’s heart stopped, he felt dead. In fact both their hearts did.
Silently Yoochun’s headed to their shared bedroom and locked the door. Junsu thought it would be better if he left him few hours to calm down so he decided to take a walk at the park.
Tears were flowing down Junsu’s face at the memory; he wiped them and took a look around him, he came here after that big fight.
With shaking hands he retrieved a letter from his vest’s pocket; it was the letter he found when he went back home; Yoochun’s goodbye letter.
When you’ll be reading this letter I’ll be out of your life, I can’t pretend that I’m fine anymore. I want to have a baby; no just a baby but your baby a long time ago and you’re still refusing without giving me any valid reason.
Even if you accepted it would be just because I was a bastard and forced you to choose between having me with a baby and not having me at all; but even that didn’t work, I feel pathetic now.
I love you; it’s why I don’t want to put pressure over your shoulders, so I decided to leave with my baby.
I don’t know how it happened since you made sure I won’t get pregnant, but I’m 8 weeks pregnant now and I want to have your baby.
I’ll leave now because, I’m afraid you’ll force me to get rid of it.
I will always love you,
Junsu was startled when he felt a hand over his shoulder; he hastily wiped his eyes and turned to face the intruder. The moment he saw the man a sob escaped his throat; it was his brother.
“Hyung, I’m sorry; I promised I won’t but I still did it” the pain, the guilt and the shame all came at once breaking his defenses.
“No Junsu, you still can keep our promise” His Hyung; Jaejoong was trailing a soothing hand up and down Junsu’s back trying as much as he can to calm down his not too little brother.
“We promised to be good fathers by giving our children the best of us and making them feel how loved they are; so he want experiment what we went thru” a shiver run down Jaejong’s spine at the mention of their past.
“But I didn’t want my own child Hyung, I always refused to have her” Junsu was devastated Jaejoong noted, he had to knock some sense into his brothers’ mind.
“Junsu, you were lying to Yoochun and to yourself at that time; you were just afraid as I was to be like our father, in fact I’m still afraid but it’s just in my mind. I know I can be a better father than him, I know that I won’t beat my 5 year child just because he laughed too loud and I’ll definitely won’t deny my child my love and protection. I believe in myself as much as I believe in you” Jaejoong pulled away from the hug to look his brother in the eyes.
“Ducky, we lived a good life since we were 15 and 17; a period where we had no money and no family” Junsu’s sobs were only hiccups now.
“No have a job that gets you a good income, a boyfriend that loves you to death and since ….” Jaejoong looked at his watch.
“ 2 hours ago, a little baby girl that needs her daddy” Jaejoong wiped the remnant of tears off of his brothers face, the latter only nodded before hugging his Hyung tightly.
“Thank you, Hyung” Junsu smiled.
“Yoochun woke up and asked after you, let’s go ducky” he pulled away and helped his brother to get up.
“Okay, but don’t call me that only Bunny can” Jaejoong rolled his eyes and put his arms around his baby brothers’ shoulders in their way to Yoochuns’ room.
Junsu was still afraid, still ashamed of being a coward; but he’s determined to do better from now onward. He managed to get Yoochun’s forgiveness now he had to work on being a good father to his little princess.
He entered his boyfriends’ room and found him feeding their little sunshine; he went to sit beside them on the bed, they were the portrait of the perfect family. He couldn’t hide his smile anymore; it’s good having his family around.
He opened his arms wide to hug his boyfriend and their little miracle, to feel this happy you have to open your arms and embrace you fears, challenges and loves.
AN/ I was listening to Creed “with arms wide open”, and this oneshot was made, dunno why or how.
i hope it’s not creepy and you can enjoy it.
Originally wrote on My LiveJournal.